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About John Carr, LICSW

I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker with a private psychotherapy practice in Needham, MA

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I am a native New Yorker and moved to Massachusetts in 2015. I love exploring big existential questions about meaning and purpose; the drama and competitive nature of sport and grappling with the many Both/Ands of life.

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I am married for over 20 years, a father of three and come from a large family.  

I have referred several providers, both physicians and mid-levels, to John Carr for stress management and interpersonal relationship skills. I was very impressed with Mr. Carr’s professionalism in working with the providers I referred to him and maintaining the confidentiality of his work with the providers referred. Without exception, the providers I referred to Mr. Carr reported back to me how much they enjoyed working with him. The providers reported to me that working with Mr. Carr helped them in their work life as well as their personal life. I observed a marked improvement in the work and stress management skills of the providers who worked with Mr. Carr.

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          - Bill Pagano, MD, MPH

My Training and Work History...

My Work With Dads...

1989-2000- I received my B.A. in Psychology from Ohio Wesleyan University in 1989.   My first job out of college was at New York Presbyterian Hospital, in White Plains, NY.  I worked as a mental health worker in an inpatient psychiatric unit for seven years with chronic schizophrenics.  This invaluable experience convinced me to pursue  a Master’s degree in Social Work. I graduated from Hunter College School of Social Work (currently named The Silberman School of Social Work) in NYC in 1998 with a concentration in group work. My first job out of social work school was at Steinway Child and Family Services in Astoria Queens. It was there that I got trained in and implemented the “Parenting Journey” curriculum. Soon thereafter I received the organization’s Social Worker of the Year award for my work with parents. 

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2001-2015- In 2001 I pursued in-depth clinical training through a three-year certificate program in Psychotherapy and Spirituality from the Blanton-Peale Institute in NYC. After graduating in 2004 I joined the Blanton-Peale staff as a resident psychotherapist and opened my private practice in 2002. From 2002 - 2015, I ran my  private practice in Manhattan's Greenwich Village. In 2013 I received a certificate in Parent Education and Parent Guidance from Adelphi University’s The Institute for Parenting, which focuses on attachment theory and parent/child mental health.

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My post master’s training focused on integrating psychoanalytically oriented theories and approaches with a person’s spiritual experience. My approach is collaborative, eclectic and integrative, grounded in the experience of caring for the hundreds of men and fathers I have seen over the course of my career.

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In 2010 I wrote a book entitled Becoming a Dad: The First Three Years. It has sold 50,000 copies and is part of the Great Expectations Series from Sterling Publishing. 

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Since moving to Massachusetts in 2015, I have focused solely on supporting, guiding and counseling men and fathers as they grapple with life's ups and downs. In addition to my practice I volunteer with PostPartum Support International (PSI) and facilitate free monthly on-line support groups for new and expectant fathers.  

 

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Is founded on the premise that many fathers father their children in isolation.  But when they have the chance to connect and tell their stories, they realize they are not alone. They can make sense of their parental role and they see the impact their own parents had on how they parent and as a result discover new ways to be a dad and in some cases break a cycle of abuse, neglect or emotional detachment.

 

In my early training, I noticed that there was very little written about the importance of a father’s presence in childhood development. But with a dramatic rise in dual career households, fathers are more involved and more included than ever.  A growing body of research supports the idea that an involved, loving father makes a significant difference in a child’s life. My counseling practice is designed to give fathers an opportunity to get the emotional and practical support they deserve and need so that they can make a significant positive difference in their child’s life.   

My Work with Men...

Many men have been socialized to present with a stiff upper lip, ignore their feelings, not express emotions (except anger) and not show ANY vulnerability.  To me, this is at the core of the many painful and destructive behaviors that men can engage in – abuse, marital affairs, isolation, emotional numbing, substance abuse and other forms of suffering. The pressure to perform and achieve brings many men to their knees. That’s where I can help.   

 

In my work, I find that there are three key places that a man will want to start:

  1. Stress or anger management.  

  2. Relationships, and ways to improve communication and resolve conflict. 

  3. The world of work, focusing on their identity and purpose.

These are great places to start.  The work tends to meander (which is completely fine) and circle around and typically ends up discovering more and more about what he needs, wants and most importantly where he feels most alive.

My Professional Affiliations...

My Book...

Great Expectations: Becoming A Dad: The First Three Years

I wrote this book in 2010, soon after my wife and I had our third child. I realized I had a lot to say, not only as a father but as a therapist who worked with fathers.  Great Expectations: Becoming A Dad: The First Three Years has sold over 50,000 copies and remains a reliable source for new and expectant fathers.

 

My book covers not only practical “how-tos,” but also the more elusive, messy, emotional side of being a father. I also discuss the crucial impact a father's presence has on his child and ways to be present right from the start.

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